During my seven years as a sales manager in the 1980s, I saw more conflict than my previous seven years as a salesperson. It might be someone claiming someone else stole an idea they had. Or it could be the technician staff claiming too much demand on their time. Sometimes retail salespeople would clash over who was to greet the next walk-in customer.

Whatever the conflict, I would speculate about all possible causes; it could be communication, or maybe a clash of personalities. It might be the sales pressure, or even that more conflict was happening because I was new manager.

A 1996 study referenced in Leadership Quarterly showed that 42 percent of a manager's time is spent on reaching agreement with others when conflicts occur. A later one in 2005 reported in the Washington Business Journal stated it another way: one to two days every work week a manager is dealing with workplace conflicts.

Employees spend about 3 hours a week dealing with conflict. As you...