Working with someone's activity—what they have actually done—is one of the most powerful approaches you can take as a manager. In fact, it's the only approach to take. While you may become tempted to fulfill other roles—counselor, consultant, or clairvoyant—observing, recording, and feeding back about what was actually done or not done will leverage the largest change in your team's performance and results.
Here are a few examples of behavioral versus non-behavioral observations:
"I noticed that during the team meeting on Thursday, you raised the volume of your voice when James questioned you about your proposal." (Behavior)
"I think you got angry with James in the team meeting last week." (Mind reading)
"Sarah's met 8 out of 11 of her yearly targets, although I haven't seen her display enough of the "Drive for Results" behavior as written in our competency framework." (Behavior)
"I don't see manager potential in Rob; I don't think he wants the role enough." (Mind reading)
To focus exclusively on behavior isn't always an easy task, but it's worth the extra effort. The key to it is relying on your external senses and switching off your internal senses in the short term.
Note
Make a Note
Anything you see, hear, or read in the first person will usually indicate a behavior. Anything you feel, think, mind read, or imagine won't be helpful.
Take a look at the following table:
|
Use |
Avoid |
|---|---|
|
I noticed |
I think |
|
I saw |
I feel |
|
I heard |
My gut tells me |
|
I watched |
Intuitively |
|
I listened |
I just know |
Don't get me wrong, all of the things in the right-hand column have a place in business and management, they just don't serve you well when you're developing your feedback skills. Put your opinions on ice unless someone specifically asks for them because your previous experience is going to add value to the situation.
A useful skill to develop is the use of verbatim—replaying back things that have been said, but striving to do it word for word without any interpretation. When you need to remind someone of a conversation, then repeating it verbatim is an example of taking a behavioral approach to language.